Last night I dreamt you ordered a pepperoni pizza. It came with seven garlic dips. Me: Why do we need seven garlic dips? You: Because I like garlic dips. And I don’t think this is going to be enough. I’m going to order more. Me: More? You: Yes. I like dipping my pizza in garlic. I think 777 should do it. Me: You’ve lost it. You’re going to order 777 garlic dips? You’re not even going to eat the seven we’ve got here. You: Chill out, Tom. I’ll pay for it. Me: Okay, but you have to get the delivery man back and explain to him why you want 777 dips. You stuck your head out the window and called him back. Then there was a pecking at the door. You opened it and the same delivery man was there but this time he was sat on an ostrich. You: I’d like to order 777 garlic dips please. Me: I’m so sorry she’s placing such a big order. Delivery man: That’s okay. I get it all the time. That’s why I brought the ostrich. Me: Right. Well, is it possible to order all these garlic dips? Delivery man: Anything is possible. Me: Great! How long will it take? Delivery man: That’s where Belinda comes in. Me: Who’s Belinda? Ostrich: I’m Belinda. I turned to you. Me: The ostrich talks. You: All ostriches talk. Me: I expect she lays garlic dips as well. You: Why else would the delivery man be riding an ostrich? You’re so slow sometimes. Belinda: I’m so sorry to interrupt but it’s already been a long night. As soon as this man gets off my back, I’ll ask that you lead me to your garlic dip laying room. You: Of course. Follow me. Me: We have a garlic dip laying room? You: Where else is Belinda going to lay them? Honestly, Tom! Do you have this sort of problem at home, Belinda? Belinda: Don’t get me started on men.
Life-living letter carver, carve me a letter crisp on my headstone and fill it with wonder I'd like to carve it, but you would do better, for you stand above this earth and I am laid under. - Tom Wiggins My new letter carving workshop is now open for business. Taking bespoke commissions such as memorials (including headstones and cremation tablets), opening plaques and heraldry. If you're looking for fine hand-carved lettering designed and carved by a fully trained stonemason and letter carver, please get in touch. I'd be very happy to talk you through the process from design stage right through to installation. Telephone: 07791969667 E-mail: tomwiggins86@gmail.com Website: www.tomwiggins.co.uk A bit about me: Born and raised in Gloucester, I now live and work as a letter carver in the beautiful market town of Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire. My journey in stone began in 2013 with a three-year Diploma in Stonemasonry at The City of Bath College. Th...
Comments
Post a Comment