Tom Wiggins, Letter Carver & Writer

Last night I dreamt you ordered a pepperoni pizza.  It came with seven garlic dips.  Me: Why do we need seven garlic dips?  You: Because I like garlic dips.  And I don’t think this is going to be enough.  I’m going to order more.  Me: More?  You: Yes.  I like dipping my pizza in garlic.  I think 777 should do it.  Me: You’ve lost it.  You’re going to order 777 garlic dips?  You’re not even going to eat the seven we’ve got here.  You:  Chill out, Tom.  I’ll pay for it.  Me:  Okay, but you have to get the delivery man back and explain to him why you want 777 dips.  You stuck your head out the window and called him back.  Then there was a pecking at the door.  You opened it and the same delivery man was there but this time he was sat on an ostrich.  You: I’d like to order 777 garlic dips please.  Me: I’m so sorry she’s placing such a big order.  Delivery man: That’s okay....

every lost ring, every lost glove, every lost smile, every lost love, every lost wallet, every lost purse, every lost blessing, every lost curse, every lost thing goes to a museum, straight to the museum it goes, every lost thing goes to the museum, straight to the museum it goes.

A man in the training station waiting room blows his nose with a handkerchief.  He's trying to think of the name of the film starring Jim Carey in which everything is artificial.  I want to say The Truman Show.   The man he's speaking to says he doesn't think it's the sort of film he'd watch.  Maybe it's a trick question because every film is artificial. He uses the word salubrious to describe Oxford Station.  I have to look the word up.  I've never been so I'm looking forward to a fully salubrious experience.  If I ever used that word in a conversation, I think I would take my time over it.  Spend at least three times longer saying the word salubrious than I would another word of the same length.  Sal-uuuuu-bri-ooous.  It seems correct to say it like that.  Like saying Wales in a Welsh accent.  Way-ells.  Or Newcastle with the castle spoken quickly and given much more emphasis than a southerner would give it: new- C...