Skip to main content

A comment on Sucker Punch, far and away the worst film I saw last year

While browsing my journal, I came across the following passage I wrote on Saturday 9th April 2011 in response to seeing Zach "300" Snyder's Sucker Punch.  I thought I'd share it, if nothing than to dissuade others from the monumental error of giving it a second's attention. 

"In truth, [Sucker Punch] was just awful.  My concentration waned and my mind quickly wandered to surveying audience reaction, or rather lack of it: it was unable to rouse any sort of reaction - good or bad - from a single member of its audience.  If the screen had been covered in black paint prior to its screening, in the very least the experience may have provoked building yawns of disengagement; hell, someone may have even walked out!  I almost wanted someone to play the Nokia ringtone - a 21st century smelling salt.  Because - let's be honest - this was a cinematic coma (cinecoma?) that required very drastic measures if there was any chance of recovery.  Who would not feel a violent, burning anger when the world's last functioning 3210 goes off during a film's most telling moment?   But in Sucker Punch's blandness, the Nokia ringtone would have been the equivalent of a blanket and a nurse after a trauma.  It was a terrific lesson in time-wasting for all involved."  

To expand on this comment, I guess the film can be compared to a rudimentary version of Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan - that is, if Aronofsky's five year-old son was asked to make a version of daddy's film ("No son, I'm not making you watch The Fountain again.  No one wants to see Hugh Jackman do joga in space after all.) without having watched it and having spent 24 hours on computer games prior to his mock up.  And instead of the self-mutilation we see in award-winning Black Swan, it would be the audience sat in front of Sucker Punch who are sticking all sorts of things under their fingernails.  A final thought: it was a video game that I couldn't control and couldn't get out of.  Simply catastrophic.  A void to avoid.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

An Expert Analysis of Michael Fassbender's Running Style From the Film 'Shame'

Tom Wiggins: What are your first impressions of Michael Fassbender/Brandon's running style? Paul Whittaker: He's running nice, smooth and relaxed. He seems like he has a good amount of fitness and he is running well within himself in terms of pace.   TW: What improvements could he make to his running style? PW: The main improvement I'd make is his foot plant.  He lands heel first and this causes a 'breaking' effect when travelling forwards.  If he landed on his mid-foot/forefoot, this would be a much better for impact stress and propulsion going forward into the next running stride. TW: Regarding his speed, how many minutes per mile is he running? PW: I would say he is running approx 7-7.30 minutes per mile. TW:  What do you make of his stride lengths?  Is he overstriding/understriding? PW: The actor is definitely overstriding in this clip.  It would help if his feet landed underneath and below his centre of gravity. TW: What's his posture like? PW: A slight forward le…

The Diary of an Apprentice Letter Carver

I qualified as a stonemason last July and completed an incredibly enjoyable and memorable stonemasonry apprenticeship with The Prince's Foundation for Building Community in which I made so many friends and worked on so many historic buildings.  During that time, I had a two-week letter carving placement with Bernard Johnson, a very talented and friendly letter carver based in Oxfordshire.  It was with him that I picked up the bug for letter carving and realised that I didn't want to do anything else.  He didn't have an apprentice opportunities at that time, but pointed me in the direction of Fergus Wessel, another letter carver in Oxfordshire.  I went to visit  Fergus at his Stonecutters workshop and after a week's trial, he was able to offer me a four-year apprenticeship.  I am both incredibly lucky to have been given the chance of being his new apprentice, not least because he himself was trained at the prestigious Kindersley Studio.  A diary of my experience as an a…

Lyrics, Lyrics, Lyrics! Ten Examples of Songwriting Genius!

I like music.

I like music and lyrics.

I like music and lyrics that make me go wow-wee!

I like music and lyrics that make me go wow-wee and cor blimey!

I like music and lyrics that make me go wow-wee and cor blimey and here are ten examples that do just that.


1.   Best Kept Secret - Laura Veirs

I never fail to be touched by these lyrics.  You can tell in Veirs' voice that it's real and beautifully, beautifully true.

December, I was lost in a darkness I couldn't shake,  Called you in California and you answered right away,  You answered right away,  You picked up right away. 

2.  Boyfriend - Marika Hackman 
A line that's perfectly delivered.  Sound and meaning in perfect synchronicity.  
You came to me for entropy and I gave you all I had. 

3.  K. - Cigarettes After Sex
A modern-day love song.  I'm always drawn to narratives in music and I love listening to a song with a strong sense of place.  This one ticks both of those boxes.  It also sounds beautiful.  
I remember whe…