Skip to main content

A comment on Sucker Punch, far and away the worst film I saw last year

While browsing my journal, I came across the following passage I wrote on Saturday 9th April 2011 in response to seeing Zach "300" Snyder's Sucker Punch.  I thought I'd share it, if nothing than to dissuade others from the monumental error of giving it a second's attention. 

"In truth, [Sucker Punch] was just awful.  My concentration waned and my mind quickly wandered to surveying audience reaction, or rather lack of it: it was unable to rouse any sort of reaction - good or bad - from a single member of its audience.  If the screen had been covered in black paint prior to its screening, in the very least the experience may have provoked building yawns of disengagement; hell, someone may have even walked out!  I almost wanted someone to play the Nokia ringtone - a 21st century smelling salt.  Because - let's be honest - this was a cinematic coma (cinecoma?) that required very drastic measures if there was any chance of recovery.  Who would not feel a violent, burning anger when the world's last functioning 3210 goes off during a film's most telling moment?   But in Sucker Punch's blandness, the Nokia ringtone would have been the equivalent of a blanket and a nurse after a trauma.  It was a terrific lesson in time-wasting for all involved."  

To expand on this comment, I guess the film can be compared to a rudimentary version of Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan - that is, if Aronofsky's five year-old son was asked to make a version of daddy's film ("No son, I'm not making you watch The Fountain again.  No one wants to see Hugh Jackman do joga in space after all.) without having watched it and having spent 24 hours on computer games prior to his mock up.  And instead of the self-mutilation we see in award-winning Black Swan, it would be the audience sat in front of Sucker Punch who are sticking all sorts of things under their fingernails.  A final thought: it was a video game that I couldn't control and couldn't get out of.  Simply catastrophic.  A void to avoid.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

An Expert Analysis of Michael Fassbender's Running Style From the Film 'Shame'

Tom Wiggins: What are your first impressions of Michael Fassbender/Brandon's running style? Paul Whittaker: He's running nice, smooth and relaxed. He seems like he has a good amount of fitness and he is running well within himself in terms of pace.   TW: What improvements could he make to his running style? PW: The main improvement I'd make is his foot plant.  He lands heel first and this causes a 'breaking' effect when travelling forwards.  If he landed on his mid-foot/forefoot, this would be a much better for impact stress and propulsion going forward into the next running stride. TW: Regarding his speed, how many minutes per mile is he running? PW : I would say he is running approx 7-7.30 minutes per mile. TW:   What do you make of his stride lengths?  Is he overstriding/understriding? PW:  The actor is definitely overstriding in this clip.  It would help if his feet landed underneath and below his centre of gravit...

Norman MacCaig: Poetry Hero

I cannot say exactly when I first discovered Norman MacCaig.  It may have been at the beginning of this year, but could well have been at the end of last.  I found him through a tweet.  Six months or more is a long time on Twitter, and when tweets get to a certain age, they're as stubbornly elusive as a missing person who wants to stay missed. But I know the tweet was left by poet  Jo Bell , the director of National Poetry Day, and whose wonderful blog can be found  here .  The link she left took me to an enthralling 25-minute interview with MacCaig.  I liked the man instantly.  I replied to Jo by saying what how charming MacCaig was.  He had a warm sparkle in his eye that only Scots seem to have access to.  He epitomised charismatic.  Unfortunately, embedding has been disabled on the video, but it can be found  here .  Fast forward to yesterday.  I was sat in Stanman's Kitche...

Bubble-Bubble-Roly-Poly

  And then you smiled and my heart leapt so high I thought it would come out of a nostril.   If you can make me laugh within the next ten seconds , you said, sitting cross-legged on the picnic blanket, I’ll kiss you .   Under normal circumstances, I would have dozens of one-liners ready to go, but the way you looked at me made my mind go blank and something in me regressed to a billion year-old fish state and I starting making bubble noises.   You know, the kind you make in front of a fish tank and want to get some dialogue going.   I needed something else, a more silly-surrealistic one-two because two funny things done together is much funnier than the sum of two funny things done separately.   So I did a roly-poly off the picnic blanket and down the hill, but the hill was rather hillier than expected.   On this mild, autumnal day, the roly-poly snowballed.   I was a tumbling seasonal anachronism.   Gravity became persuasive: one roly-poly t...