For the past four or five years, I’ve been “one of those people” who stays up to watch the Academy Awards. For those who are more dismissive of the schmaltzy back-patting elitism prevalent at The Oscars and its like, may through association also single me out as “one of those people” who stands behind the barrier at red carpet premieres with “the rest of the sad sacks” in search of that elusive glimpse at that lesser-spotted A-Lister. Okay, so I admit, I have craned my neck as a Leicester Square celeb obsessive on more than one occasion, but those days of waiting for the esteemed filmmaker and (as Hitchcock once addressed them) his cattle are, you’ll be pleased to learn, very much behind me. However, the need to see the Oscar winners and losers is immediate, and, as such, a live feed of the big night is a necessary one. Here’s a blow-by-blow account of my night: 21:00 Fall into a deep sleep and miss all of The Oscars. (This of course is a joke) 21:13 After that ice cream ear...