A record of a lonely and bitter mother scolding her son for picking up his estranged father’s bad habits at the breakfast table

Monday

You eat those Cheerios like they’re about to be rationed;
We used to chew our food if that’s so old-fashioned.

Tuesday

There was more gobble in that than on a turkey farm
That the Honey Monster himself would stand in alarm.

Wednesday

Don’t slouch on the seat or slurp on your tea,
And don’t hold that spoon like it was wriggling free.

Thursday

You know you can eat your toast in more than a bite:
That strawberry jam isn’t about to ignite.

Friday

You drink your squash like you want to drown,
And you eat your Coco Pops before the milk goes brown.

Comments

An Expert Analysis of Michael Fassbender's Running Style From the Film 'Shame'

Tom Wiggins: What are your first impressions of Michael Fassbender/Brandon's running style? Paul Whittaker: He's running nice, smooth and relaxed. He seems like he has a good amount of fitness and he is running well within himself in terms of pace. TW: What improvements could he make to his running style? PW: The main improvement I'd make is his foot plant. He lands heel first and this causes a 'breaking' effect when travelling forwards. If he landed on his mid-foot/forefoot, this would be a much better for impact stress and propulsion going forward into the next running stride. TW: Regarding his speed, how many minutes per mile is he running? PW : I would say he is running approx 7-7.30 minutes per mile. TW: What do you make of his stride lengths? Is he overstriding/understriding? PW: The actor is definitely overstriding in this clip. It would help if his feet landed underneath and below his centre of gravit...

Norman MacCaig: Poetry Hero

I cannot say exactly when I first discovered Norman MacCaig. It may have been at the beginning of this year, but could well have been at the end of last. I found him through a tweet. Six months or more is a long time on Twitter, and when tweets get to a certain age, they're as stubbornly elusive as a missing person who wants to stay missed. But I know the tweet was left by poet Jo Bell , the director of National Poetry Day, and whose wonderful blog can be found here . The link she left took me to an enthralling 25-minute interview with MacCaig. I liked the man instantly. I replied to Jo by saying what how charming MacCaig was. He had a warm sparkle in his eye that only Scots seem to have access to. He epitomised charismatic. Unfortunately, embedding has been disabled on the video, but it can be found here . Fast forward to yesterday. I was sat in Stanman's Kitche...

Bubble-Bubble-Roly-Poly

And then you smiled and my heart leapt so high I thought it would come out of a nostril. If you can make me laugh within the next ten seconds , you said, sitting cross-legged on the picnic blanket, I’ll kiss you . Under normal circumstances, I would have dozens of one-liners ready to go, but the way you looked at me made my mind go blank and something in me regressed to a billion year-old fish state and I starting making bubble noises. You know, the kind you make in front of a fish tank and want to get some dialogue going. I needed something else, a more silly-surrealistic one-two because two funny things done together is much funnier than the sum of two funny things done separately. So I did a roly-poly off the picnic blanket and down the hill, but the hill was rather hillier than expected. On this mild, autumnal day, the roly-poly snowballed. I was a tumbling seasonal anachronism. Gravity became persuasive: one roly-poly t...

Tom Wiggins, Letter Carver & Writer

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