Over the past few weeks, I’ve been making my way through “FUNNY HA HA”, an anthology containing “80 of the funniest stories ever written”. The village librarian recommended it to me and it has not disappointed. Having read the first half a dozen or so stories (including Kevin Barry’s “Beer Trip to Llandudno”, which I was completely blown away by), I thought the book was being front-loaded with all the best stories. It turned out that no front-loading was taking place. The stories were in alphabetical order according to author. That was a real wow moment. So the whole book is likely to be this good. Mind blown.
Every now and again, the housekeeper gives me cash.
‘Tom, I give you £260.
You pay into Barclays.’
‘Okay.’
I’ve accepted this as one of my unofficial jobs. It means I accumulate a lot of cash. I saw that the Halifax in Witney would be
open today so I headed over there just before lunchtime.
Other writers will know that you don’t go into town without
taking writing things. I got my small green
backpack and packed the FUNNY HA HA book, my poetry diary, my A5 ringbound
journal, my A4 ringbound general writing / ideas notebook, about half a dozen
pens, a bag for life, a drinks bottle filled with water and a wallet containing
£690.
This was the first day of my writing sabbatical and I wanted
to make sure I started strongly.
After I made the deposit at the Halifax, I scouted around
for a suitable café. While we were up in
Coniston and then the Isle of Kintyre earlier this week for work, Fergus said
that he couldn’t write in a café because he’d feel too self-conscious. I know what he means. Sometimes I think I’m the epitome of self-consciousness,
but I’ve been writing in cafes and restaurants and pubs for so long that it just
becomes normal. I like pretending to be
the distinguished writer in the corner.
It can be hard to find a suitable set of conditions, and today proved
so. After walking in and walking out of
three places (The Corn Exchange, Starbucks and Ye Olde Cross Keys), I walked
into The Part and Parcel, a quiet and spacious restaurant nearby. Those were
two boxes ticked: quiet and spacious is a must.
Also, I must have a table against a wall, preferably in a corner. The corner table was free and also
perfect. The round window right next to
it offered a bit of extra light and it had some shelf space.
I read the rest of an extract from The Secret Diary of
Adrian Mole, Aged 13 ¾ by Sue Townsend, Aurelia’s Unfortunate Young Man by Mark
Twain and Tom Edison’s Shaggy Dog by Kurt Vonnegut. They’re all of a very high standard. I’d like to read more of Vonnegut’s short
stories. I think this is the first story
by him that I’ve read. His name pops up
every now and then when I’m talking to friends or from someone whose work I admire.
I always thought he was a more serious writer.
I will most definitely delve into his short story oeuvre during this month! Satirical and darkly humorous, as his work
has been described, is something I’m trying to go for!
The writing went well.
A week or two back I had an idea for a fictional correspondence between
a rich heiress and her working class love interest. But the love is unrequited; she loves him but
he doesn’t love her, and he’s not in the least bit interested in the prospect
of sharing her fortune. In spite of her
extravagant financial incentives like a house in Chelsea and a private jet, the
man always finds ways to turn her down. You
don’t hear her pleading directly because you only ever get to read his letters,
but I thought that idea would be an interesting one to explore.
It's been a good start to my writing month. I’m not going to put too much pressure on myself,
and I vowed with myself to run regularly in the mornings because it has a way
of clearing my head, makes me feel a little happier and acts as a sharpening
stone for ideas later in the day.
Day one done. I hope
to finish FUNNY HA HA by the end of the weekend. Run, read, write, repeat.
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