I wanted to do something different with cards this Christmas, partly because I'm a bit like that and partly because standard Christmas cards are rather quite boring. Don't get me wrong: I love the sentiment, I even love the politics of who gets one and who hasn't done enough during the year to impress, and - perhaps above all - I love the monotony of writing card after card after card. But I was bored with buying them. The same designs every year! I didn't want my individuality to be restricted to a dozen or so options in Clinton Cards. So around mid-November, I set out to design my own. I thought about drawing them by hand, but concluded that they would be funnier and easier to duplicate if I drew them digitally. Step forward Microsoft Paint. Oh, how I've missed you. Your mighty cans of infinite spray paint, your blotchy masterpiece impossibilities, the way you make us c...